All Bettes are off

The votes are in. With a record number of 70 million people casting their votes, Bette Midler has been named America's Fallen Idol.

Ok, these statistics actually come from the consensus of the three people I watched the "American Idol" finale with last night, but the facts are the facts. Sanjaya's performance gave Midler a run for the bottom prize, however he had Joe Perry backing him, which offered him some redemption. Plus, we haven't taken Sanjaya seriously since he entered the "Idol" contest.

Midler on the other hand struggled just to keep up with the back-up track to "Wind Beneath My Wings."

Midler is an old pro and after performing "Wind Beneath My Wings" for about a decade too long, she should be able to hit these notes in her sleep. And the saddest part -- I've heard it performed better at high school graduations.

After a few awkward stage moves (a shimmy in her leather skirt and the constant flailing of her left hand), I have a feeling Bette's blood alcohol level could have rivaled the record number of votes cast for the finale show. OK, that may be harsh, but something was going on with her. She couldn't keep up with the music and she couldn't hit a note.

With her show opening soon in Las Vegas, I'm sure the performance on "Idol" was a promotional sort of thing. But I'm sorry to say if that's what a $100 ticket will buy me, I'd rather see the Thunder From Down Under.